


Eternal Flame

by merlywhirls



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Drinking, F/F, Kat wanted Angst so, and ummm...., but hey look i finished a thing, im so bad at tags wtf, oh this is underage, theres also oral sex, with a lot of fire metaphors for some fucking reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:51:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlywhirls/pseuds/merlywhirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karen Jackson was truly a demon with the face of an angel, but Mandy learned this too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eternal Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Belated Christmas Kat!!!

It felt like a burning in her chest, hot and sluggish, like cigarette smoke caught in her lungs and held suspended. It felt like the lit end in Ian’s mouth, wobbling between his lips as he said, “Get over him.”

Smoke and burning signals that spelled out, “Lip’s not worth it, you know.”

It was a small flame that hissed and sparked as spit came flying from his mouth, finalizing his words. “He’s so far up Karen’s ass he can’t see the light of day.”

That was only part of the problem.

Mandy plucked the cigarette from Ian’s lips, slipping it between her own and inhaling, hoping to reignite that small fire burning. It felt weak, like a dying matchstick. She tried to sound indifferent as she shrugged, “I don’t give up easy.”

Milkoviches did not give up easily, and this wasn’t about to be an exception.

Ian just shrugged back at her. “Like I said, my brother’s not worth it.”

He stood up straight, walking to the school building and leaving Mandy behind at the bike shed. She crushed the stub of the cigarette under her boots, exhaling one last time.

“He sure isn’t,” she muttered before following her friend.

*

It was small events in between drunken antics, it was little occurrences when it was just the two of them, it was a secret never acknowledged as such. It was just something, just sitting there like the ache in Mandy’s chest, and if she were poetic enough she’d akin it to Romeo and Juliet, if only she had bothered to read the play for English class.

When she closed her eyes she saw the blonde, flowing hair of Juliet, a curtain fanning her eyelids. It looked so close to reach and touch, but her imagination wasn’t bright enough to conclude what it could feel like.

When her eyes were open, that golden sheet before her in real life and just out of reach, she concluded it would feel like sand between her fingers. If only she could feel it for real.

When she closed her eyes, she saw the blonde hair falling like a waterfall, and held onto that image as a rough and jagged kiss was pressed to her lips. It tasted like smoke and body spray, and if Mandy had a better imagination, she would picture drowning in that golden waterfall instead of the musk of some unnamed boy.

In between the harsh groping and kisses filled with too much teeth, it was brushes over fingers as they passed in the hallway, and just too many smirks accompanied with winks to be an accident.

Mandy prayed that they weren’t an accident.

And when Karen Jackson stroked her arm by the lockers, asking if Mandy could lend her a text book, she prayed instead that she wouldn't drop the book, or even say anything stupid.

That small flame felt like a combustion, too heavy and igniting her entire body, licking up to paint her cheeks rosy to the point where she was _sure_ Karen noticed. Karen had smiled wide, clacking a bubble between her lips before swishing her tongue around to collect the gum. Mandy knew swallowing now would be a dead give away.

The school bell jumped her out of her shock, giving Karen the book silently and smiling weakly. Karen smiled again, and in her cherry voice said, “Thanks.”

It took all of Mandy’s willpower not to smash her head against the metal lockers.

*

Small events between drunken antics, like that time they hitched up with some strangers, convincing them they were overage as they rode in the backseat of a sedan. Karen was pressed closely beside her in the backseat, bare legs rubbing together smoothly, each time a shock of electricity through Mandy’s body. Karen’s hand felt like a furnace on the inside of Mandy’s thigh as the girl laughed shrilly, telling their new companions, “Mandy here’s a wild girl, too. Right, Mandy?”

They’d never even hung out together before this, but this was one of Mandy’s brother’s party, and Karen had apparently just gate crashed. Mandy was the only person Karen knew, and despite attracting the attention of everyone in the room, Karen sauntered straight over and whispered in Mandy’s ear, “Where’s the drinks?”

The rest of the night went similar to this. Even when they ended up in the middle of nowhere, parked by some lake that looked too brown, Karen always found Mandy. Eyes locked as one of their new friends began sucking on Karen’s neck, her fake moans and breath hitches carrying over to reach Mandy’s ears. Mandy could feel the heat rise over her body, but she told herself it was from her own new friend trailing kisses up her leg.

But when Karen looked away, lips locking with the drunken boy, Mandy shoved her friend off her legs and went to sit in the car.

They didn’t mention it at school the next day, and when Karen passed her in the hallway, she didn’t even acknowledge Mandy was there. Mandy told herself she was fine with that. She didn’t need Karen Jackson, and she certainly didn’t _want_ Karen Jackson.

Mandy was a liar.

*

Three weeks after their escapade, Mandy found herself locked in a closet with her golden girl.

7 minutes in heaven, someone had declared, and Mandy was only just drunk enough to allow herself to be pulled into the circle. She didn’t notice how Karen only sat when Mandy did.

“This is so third grade,” Karen snorted, but her hands were wrapped around Mandy’s back, her face only inches away. If Mandy could see anything in the darkness of the closet, she would see the raggedly hung coats, a box full of umbrellas and shoes, Karen’s dilated pupils, and the symbolism of literally being a closet with the star of her gay fantasies.

Mandy felt confident in the darkness, murmuring agreement as she slid her hands over Karen’s slender hips. She could feel the protruding bone though Karen’s skintight dress, and circled her thumbs over idly. She felt Karen shift closer.

“Why don’t we make it a little less childish, then?” Mandy purred. Her face felt hot from the licking flames of anticipation, and inhaled Karen’s last breath before closing the space between them, bringing their lips together and instantly feeling Karen’s tongue in her mouth.

Small pops and crackles were exploding in the pit of Mandy’s stomach as Karen’s glossed lips slid over hers. There had been months of teasing, Karen’s hands grazing her thigh and playfully pinching her cheeks, all at these apparent random parties they both happened to be at.

Once it was the girl’s bathroom at school, Mandy fixing her lipstick in the mirror when Karen walked in, stopping haltingly at the sight of Mandy. Then a Cheshire grin spread over her face, and she pinched Mandy’s arse and blew a kiss before entering a cubicle.

All these chances, these small moments, they all had one thing in common: it was only when it was the two of them alone.

Mandy revered in the aloneness now, loving the small appreciative noises escaping Karen’s throat. Mandy loved that she now had a word for what Karen’s hair felt like, her fingers carded through and pulling the blonde tresses, deciding that it definitely felt like the tumbling sand in an hour glass, slipping through her digits like ticking minutes.

Mandy traced her other hand up Karen’s thigh, slipping it under her skirt to feel the delicate fabric of her underwear. Her head was swimming, drowned in alcohol and everything that was Karen, her breath coming out rapidly as she hooked a finger over the elastic band of Karen’s underwear.

When she felt a vibration against her chest, she figured it was just her body’s natural buzzing, until Karen pushed her away and swiped her arm against her mouth. She dug her hand between her cleavage and pulled out her phone, vibrating an alarm. She silenced it, and began brushing her hair with her fingers.

“A minute before they open the door,” she told Mandy, “So stop breathing so heavily, skank.”

Mandy’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness, now making out Karen’s vague shape, and the highlight of her white arms and legs. Her face was pink, but it could be pin pointed on the suffocating closet, but her phone was slightly shaking in her hands.

Karen smoothed down her skirt and rolled her eyes at Mandy, who still stood motionless. She tugged down Mandy’s shirt, which had ridden up at some point that Mandy didn’t know, and then reapplied her clear lip-gloss. Mandy subconsciously licked her lips.

Karen huffed a laugh. “You act like you've never been kissed before, Milkovich.”

Mandy laughed humorlessly, once she realised what game they were playing. She took out the pack of cigarettes from her back pocket and shoved one into Karen’s hands, lighting it when she saw the shadow of her hands deposit the cigarette to her lips. The small liquid flame lit up Karen’s face, shadows and contours making it look more slender, more innocent, and then it was snuffed out and all Mandy could see again was the small burning tip of the cigarette.

Mandy felt like she had been aflame, but was now only a small burning tip.

Light flooded in when the closest door was opened, blinding Mandy momentarily before she was brought back by the loud whooping and catcalls of the other party goers. Karen was standing casually, leaning against the wall with her ankles crossed, holding the cigarette naturally to her lips. Her face was back to its normal colour, neutral pale and smooth like marble, and Mandy prayed her own cheeks didn't betray them.

Why it had to be a secret, Mandy didn’t know, but she would rather it be a secret than not happening at all.

“You’re all horny bastards,” Mandy croaked at the group.

Karen added, “Mandy and I have just been having some girl time.”

_Girl time,_ Mandy thought, _sounds exactly right._

*

It’s not that Mandy was ashamed, embarrassed, or scared. Ian had told her he was gay, his hand shaking as it was pressed against her breast despite his casualness. Ian was scared, but Mandy didn’t want to be. She felt like she had nothing to be scared of, beside her dad and maybe her brothers finding out, but Mandy was good at keeping secrets from her family.

It was a handy tool, knowing how to keep secrets, as girl time increased but remained away from everyone else.

A study group, Karen had told her it was, when she invited Mandy over to her house, but when Mandy got there it was just Karen, Mrs Jackson, and for some reason Ian’s dad, but Mandy didn’t pay him any mind.

Mandy had just enough time to take her shoes off at the door before Karen, who was shouting that they would be studying for a few hours and so best not disturb them, hauled her upstairs.

Mandy had a biology text book wedged under her arm, but she realised too late that it would be useless to her now.

When Karen closed the door behind them she raised an eyebrow at the book, and said, “I didn’t know you actually studied.”

“I don’t,” Mandy said lamely. “But I was told this was a study group.”

Karen laughed, taking the book from Mandy and throwing it over her shoulder as she crowded into Mandy’s space, pushing the back of Mandy’s knees to the edge of the bed.

“We’ll be doing a different kind of studying,” Karen whispered. Her hands were holding on tightly to Mandy’s waist, keeping her close and pressed against Karen’s body.

Mandy grabbed Karen’s soft face, pulling her closer so their lips brushed when Mandy replied, “That’s fine by me.”

This was the first time they had kissed since the time in the closet, and Mandy concluded that it was even better than before, as her head was clear and sober, meaning the rushing of blood in her ears was entirely because of Karen, of being close to Karen, of having Karen’s mouth pressed firmly against hers. Karen was not as soft and gentle as she looked, gripping Mandy’s waist firmly enough to leave finger prints etched into her skin, sliding her tongue into Mandy’s mouth intrudingly. Mandy didn’t mind.

Karen pushed her onto the bed, climbing on top of Mandy and slotting their thighs together, coming together like two pieces of a puzzle. Karen’s hands were travelling all over Mandy, running up her thigh, her stomach and her breasts, finally resting her at jaw and achingly crushing their faces together. Mandy trailed her hands to grip onto Karen’s arse, frustrated that the girl had decided to wear impossibly tight jeans.

Last week Mandy had locked eyes with Karen across from the cafeteria, each sitting with their respective Gallagher brother. Karen had smiled at her, almost predatory, and Mandy knew immediately it wouldn't end well. Karen picked up her spoon and began licking it, sucking it into her mouth and running her tongue flat against the bowl. She winked at Mandy, who sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes back, but her grip on Ian’s hand became tighter.

“What?” he had asked, but she just shook her head.

Now that tongue was trailing her jaw line, sucking on her ear lobe and licking down her neck. Mandy squirmed under Karen’s weight, small pants escaping her lips and asking for more, and Mandy could feel Karen smile against the hollow of her throat before nipping her.

Karen continued down to Mandy’s collarbone, sucking and biting hickeys all over. Hurriedly, Karen’s hands lifted under Mandy’s shirt and began tugging. Mandy helped, and then pulled Karen’s shirt off and threw it haphazardly on the floor.

She wanted to see Karen, but the girl was back to tracking kisses down Mandy’s chest, on her breasts and stomach. She bit at Mandy’s hip, dragging her hands languidly over her sides. Karen kept going lower, nudging her nose below Mandy’s naval and finally kissing the inside of her thighs.

Karen pushed Mandy’s skirt higher, and Mandy didn’t mean to gasp as Karen bit the soft flesh of her thigh, licking over the spot with her warm tongue.

Mandy gripped Karen’s sandy hair, dragging her nails over her scalp. as Karen hummed against her thigh, nudging her head into her hand to do it again. Mandy did, rougher this time, as she felt Karen’s hot breath ghost against her clit, igniting a fuse in her stomach and crawling over as a blush through her chest and face.

Mandy felt like she was swimming in a hot tub, the sheets against her back scorching her body to an intense heat as Karen continued her movements with her lips and tongue, dragging and sucking. She could only half-hear herself gasping Karen’s name, gripping the girl’s hair painfully in her fist. Karen didn’t seem to mind, flicking her tongue insistently against Mandy until Mandy felt her legs go rigid, her toes curling as her back arched off the bed, off the too-hot sheets as waves of pleasure crashed through her and escaped as a tight _oh_ from her throat.

Karen dusted light kisses and licks back up to Mandy’s lips once the girl stilled. Mandy sank back into the sheets, still warm, lazy and content to just Karen fall asleep next to her.

It was a strange thought as soon as Mandy thought it, she knew, usually so eager to leave as soon as the act was done. When Mandy realised that she hadn’t returned the favour, she turned onto her side to face Karen and started dragging her hand up the girl’s side. Karen shivered, a small smile on her lips, but instead she said, “You should go.”

Mandy was placated by the smile, momentarily assured that she wasn’t being brushed off, until Karen added, “Lip will be here soon.”

There wasn’t enough fire in the world, Mandy decided, to burn down Karen’s house.

*

Frankly, Mandy didn’t care.

She cared a whole lot about a lot of things. She cared about Ian, about her brothers, fuck, she cared about animal cruelty and would only steal cosmetics that didn’t test on animals, but at the same time, Mandy didn’t care.

She could be a destructive force too, a storm blitzing through buildings and tearing up houses.

Mandy didn’t care why Karen did what she did, just as long as she paid for it.

When Ian saw her face that day, he said again, “He’s not fucking worth it, Mand.”

Mandy shrugged. Whatever she had with Lip was nothing compared to what she had fleetingly felt with Karen. Mandy wasn’t naïve, nor in self denial. She knew she couldn't get Karen to stay with her, but it didn’t also mean that she wasn’t going to do something about it.

But when it meant wearing your heart on your sleeve, especially when you’re known as a renowned _heartless bitch_ , then Mandy just might need a clever cover story.

Really, when Mandy thought about it, it was all Lip’s fault anyway. This was the fuel to her fire as she started the engine.

_All Lip’s fault,_ Mandy tried to remember, _But especially all of Karen’s fault._

Mandy thought of the gasoline burning to bring the car to an alarmingly speed, thought of the flame growing and licking her ribs to a churned and coal black, as she spotted the floating halo of yellow hair.

Milkoviches did not give up easily, and this wasn’t about to be an exception.

The _bump_ and _crack_ of a petite body flying over the hood of Mandy’s car felt like the way her now ashen heart stopped beating for pretty blonde girls with fire in their eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> First thing for Shameless and also first attempt at kinda-smut that i didn't even intend to write in. So there's that thing.


End file.
